Things I’ve quit doing since graduating from high school include:
- I kept my passion of Broadway musicals hidden since it seemed a little odd.
- To math class, I’m wearing lacey fingerless gloves from Hot Topic.
- I’m drawn to guys who are surgically attached to their acoustic guitars.
Unfortunately, there is one thing lacking from this list: popping my pimples. My body has been on this planet for three decades, and nowhere in that time have I managed to break my habit of squeezing a cyst-y zit, inflaming it, causing scarring and discoloration, vowing to stop, and then restarting the cycle when I *beautifully* nudge out a string of dead skin cells from a pesky whitehead.
The trouble is that there are bacteria on my hands even when it feels like a clean squeeze, therefore there are always consequences (aka, more bumps). And, while I can’t seem to get rid of my need to watch pus drain from a pimple, I can do so in a method that doesn’t harm my skin.
As a result, I’ve been elected president of the pimple patch fan club.
There are a few different Amazon brands: I tried a handful and didn’t notice any significant differences – they all worked for me. I only do one thing:
- I use a cleanser on my face.
- To the pimple, apply a patch.
- Apply moisturizer, eye cream, and vitamin C serum before going to bed.
Because they take a few hours to work their magic, I normally put them on before going to bed and wake up with a treat. Because it absorbs all of the goo in your zit like a great little sponge, the patch (which comes in several sizes) will puff up. You can actually see everything that comes out of that little sucker without risking your imperfections becoming worsened by dirt from your fingernails.
Larger, painful cysts are the only occasion they haven’t worked as well. You want to wait until your zit is “crowning,” as one of my pals once phrased it crudely but perfectly. (I apologize, but it’s true!)
Because when I run out of these patches, I revert to my old clawing-at-my-acne methods until I remember to just get another pack, these patches are the only things I’ve ever contemplated subscribing to on Amazon.